Infinite Musical Moments of Jisbon
by raquelvalente91
Summary: As the title says, musical inspired moments of Jisbon.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:**_ I am so sorry for the delay in the updates guys, I'm looking for a job and I'm going through a bad case of writer's block, so I decided to write another story :D  
Yes, this one. Enjoy.  
_**Disclaimer: **_Neither the series nor the songs and lyrics are mine._

_1 - **12 Stones:** It Was You  
__2 - **Kelly Clarkson:** A Moment Like This  
__3 - **Avenged Sevenfold:** Seize The Day  
__4 - **Staind:** Believe  
__5 - **Breaking Benjamin:** Breath  
__6 - **Evanescence:** Bring Me To Life  
__7 - **Crossfade:** Cold  
__8 - **Guns N' Roses:** Don't Cry  
__9 - **Nickelback: **Far Away  
__10 - **Foo Fighters:** Big Me_

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_It was you  
Who showed me who I am  
And thaught me how to stand  
For what I know is real_

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Sitting on my leather couch and pretending to be foccused on the latest sudoku puzzle, my thoughts drifted to the petite brunette who had me on my toes.  
She made me believe in second chances, she made me see what was it like to live on the lighter side of his world, she made me see the good in people, in her, the good in myself.  
I would be forever grateful to her for showing me the right path.

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_What if I told you  
It was all meant to be  
Would you believe me?_

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I wasn't dumb.  
I knew he had only chose to work in the bureau with the single purpose to find Red John.  
But what if his arrival to my Unit meant something more?  
What if it meant for me to relinquish all the control and appreciate the simple things in life?  
What if it meant for me another shot at happiness?  
And how would he react to that?  
Would he believe her or would he walk away and dismiss my feelings for him?

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_So what if I never hold you  
Or kiss your lips again?  
So I never wanna leave you  
And the memories I must have seen  
I beg don't leave me_

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Things wouldn't ever be the same again.  
She wasn't coming back.  
One mistake from my part, and that was all it took.  
She took the bullet that was meant for me, she saved my life.  
And I'd heard her agonizing cry, I'd seen her bleed, I'd grasped her hand, begged her to not give up on life, on me.  
But that wasn't enough...  
Red John had yet taken another woman I loved from me.  
When I proclaimed my love, she threw me one of her beautiful smiles and I forced myself to memorize it.  
And as life slipped away from her, I cried, I held onto her, held onto my memories of her.  
She was my only hope, and now she was gone.  
I couldn't bear that pain again.

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_I sit alone and watch the clock  
Trying to colect my thoughts  
All I think about is you_

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I knew it was worthless to drown myself in paperwork when he invaded my thoughts.  
It was unnerving how my mind tricked me with images of his impish grin or his sparkling eyes...  
And the worst of it all was that he was already in my dreams, my darkest lust-filled dreams...  
I couldn't work like this, not when he was everything I could think about.

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_You take the breath right out of me  
You left a hole where my heart should be_

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The Mayor was having a fundraiser party at the City Hall and the team had been invited to be there, of course.  
Wayne finally asked Grace to be his date, Cho was taking Elise and I was left to take her to the event. I should have seen it coming.  
The no-nonsense boss-lady Teresa Lisbon took my breath away, leaving me standing at her living room, motionless, as she descended the stairs of her appartment wearing an elegant strapless black dress, hugging all her curves.  
She had certainly been the one who had made all men wishing to trade places with me.  
Maybe, after seeing her trademark smile, I had felt my heart beat again, I had felt the blood running in my veins, a proof that I was alive.  
Maybe, I wouldn't let her return alone to her appartment tonight.

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_How can you see into my eyes  
Like open doors?_

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I've always had the strange feeling that he, as he stared at me, always read my soul.  
He knew me so well, knew my likes, my dislikes, knew when I was angry, sad, happy...  
It was a shame that he never found out what I felt, my true, deepest feelings towards him. For an ex-psychic, he could be blind.  
But I couldn't deny that he actually knew who I really was and he could see right through my badass lady-boss facade.  
The strangest thing was that I knew so little about him.  
So many years spent working together, and I still couldn't decypher the consultant.

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_You are the antidote that gets me by  
Something strong like a drug that gets me high_

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I finally understood her.  
She had stuck her neck out for me, not only to cover for my schemes, but also in order to protect me. She was my own guardian angel, the one who held my soul, the one who made me open my eyes in the morning and fill my lungs with oxigen. She had me on the palm of her hand, lingering on her smile for strenght.  
I knew that she cared deeply for me, but I was always messing a future relationship between us with my stupidity and desire to kill Red John.  
I was addicted to her, to her body, to her soul, to her heart, to her smile, to her grumpiness in the mornings...  
I just couldn't let go of her. Screw the world, screw the CBI, screw Red John.  
Her love was mine for the taking. And I wouldn't mess it up.  
There was now too much to lose.

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_Talk to me softly  
There's something in your eyes  
Don't hang your head in sorrow  
And please don't cry_

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I found him on the roof of the CBI building, deep in thought.  
Thinking about that day's date I sighed sadly.  
It was the sixth anniversary of their death, and if his daughter was still alive, she'd be eleven years old today.  
I didn't know what to say to make him feel better.  
I had seen him during the day, always looking out for him. He hadn't been himself this morning. He came to the bulpen in the morning, laid on his couch and pretended to be sleeping, not bothered by the concerned looks he was getting from me.  
The day passed without a case, without his bickering or his impish grin, without an argument or a threat, without a look or an origami animal. He just kept laying down with his eyes closed, lost in the memories of his beloved family.  
My heart was breaking. I hated to see him like this.  
Reaching a hand to touch his shoulder, I locked his gaze and was left speechless. Patrick Jane, the man who had walls of steel around him, was lost. I saw it in his eyes. The missing spark, the despair of a man who hid behind a smile and a pretty face...  
On instinct, I threw my arms around him as he sobbed, and as a few tears escaped from my own eyes, I swore to never let him go.

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_Keep breathing, cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it, hold onto me  
Never let me go_

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Since Bosco's death, I had kept an eye on her. I tried, I swear I tried to make her open up with me and talk about her feelings towards Bosco, but she wouldn't cope, she wouldn't talk. All I could see was that she was sad, angry at herself.  
One night, after an exhausting case, I awoke from my "nap" and noticed the lights in her office were on. Walking slowly, I approached the office and ran inside as I saw her crying. I held her in my arms, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, hoping to send her pain away.  
But something else happened, as she looked me in the eyes, still crying, and told me I was the only person she trusted, I allowed a small smile make its way on my lips, and I pulled her to me, my hands caressing her back in a soothing way until she fell asleep.

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_Well I talked about it, put it on  
Never was it true  
But it's you, I fell into_

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No, no, no, no. It just couldn't be true.  
I don't... Ok, I do, maybe a little but...  
I can't... Although CBI regulations don't mention any...  
My job is important to me... Who am I kidding? And so he is. As he's a part of my job, of course he is important to me.  
But I just can't be in love with him... Can I?  
Oh Gosh, he's already staring at me, and I'm blushing. This is _so _not happening right now. I walk past him..._please don't mention my blushing, please don't mention my blushing...  
_Just why in the world did I had to fell for him? Ok, so maybe it were the blond curls and the impish blue-ish eyes, but still...  
Ok, I'm ready to admit to myself that I love him, but if anyone else asks, I'll deny it to the grave.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **_I'll keep updating random musical inspired chapters people, don't worry. Enjoy  
_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own neither the series nor the songs._

_

* * *

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11 - Daughtry: Gone  
_12 - Goo Goo Dolls: Iris  
__13 - 12 Stones: Hey Love  
__14 - Rihanna & Ne-Yo: Hate That I Love You  
__15 - Hinder: Lips Of An Angel_

_

* * *

_

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_Reach up to the sky  
When nothing seems to go right  
Nothing seems to go right for me_

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Another case, another crazy scheme of my very own creation to bring the criminal to justice, another argument with her. I was seriously growing tired of all the law enforcement work.  
My only motivations were catching Red John and staying with her.  
Red John was in the shadows for about two months before Kristina Frye and I went on that miserable excuse for a date, then, and only then, he decided to show up.  
This time it had been a meeting up close and personal. I thought he would just kill me then, since I was tied up to a chair, but he didn't, which only proves the point of him being around just to haunt me.  
She doesn't need me, of course, to look over her shoulder and see if she's ok. I just... I care for her. The date with Kristina turned out something good, after all. In the end, it led me to her. She was the one who found me, the one who looked for me, in her motherly ways, and I found that I care, I actually care for someone besides myself. That's something good right?  
Surprisingly, I'm not in my couh, I'm sitting at the CBI rooftop. From here I can see everything, the horizont is my limit. I look at the stars as they shine above me and for the second time, since I was a kid, I make a wish, hoping that everything will turn out good.

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_When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive_

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I saw the killer aiming his gun at Jane and I didn't even needed to think twice. I pushed him away and felt the fiercing pain in my abdomen.  
Rigsby didn't hesitate in putting a bullet right between the killer's eyes, killing him instantly.  
I closed my eyes when Van Pelt pressed the wound and I felt his eyes on me. He kneeled and held my hand, caressing it. I opened my eyes to see him crying. I couldn't believe it. He was really crying, over me. I already knew he thought it was his fault I got shot, but it wasn't. He couldn't have known the bastard would try to kill him and it was my job to look out for him. He just couldn't die.  
My name fell from his lips in a whisper and I smiled weakly. The blinding pain had me closing my eyes again. Everything was starting to blur, except his voice and his touch. I felt him getting closer and I felt the whisper of a kiss he left on my already cold lips. I whispered everything would be ok, but he didn't believe me.  
I was almost to the point of clocing my eyes definitely, when he dropped the "I can't lose you" bomb.  
That's what did it. I forced myself to believe in him, to held onto his strenght on the way to the hospital. That was the reason I stayed alive, because he couldn't lose me. Because I knew he cared.

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_Hey love won't you leave your touch  
On this heart that's broken  
I can't breathe when you're not here_

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The red smiley face on the white wall of what it used to be my daughter's room taunted me. I sat on the bed, my back turned towards it, thinking about what would be like having my family still with me.  
My daughter would enter her teen years, a father's worst nightmare, and maybe my wife would be pregnant again or maybe there would be the sound of tiny feet in the house.  
I couldn't believe it had already been 7 years since that horrifying night.  
7 years since I lost my life, my love.  
But then, there was always that someone special for whom I cared a lot. Teresa Lisbon was really some woman.  
She was the only one capable to nurse me back to life. She knew how to mend my broken heart. She made me a better man, a better person. Nobody had done something like that for me ever. I am quite grateful of having her in my life, in my heart, otherwise, I couldn't be able to walk on my own ever again. That's why I am so scared of losing her. I admit that I'm quite terrified of losing her.

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_One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me  
And your kiss won't make me weak  
But no one in this world  
Knows me the way you know me  
So you'll probably always have a spell on me_

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Why in the world did he had to be such a sweet man?  
Hell, why did he wanted to be such a sweet man whenever I was around? I knew he wasn't the kind of man who lived his life to extreme, no. He liked to have everything under control (just like me), he liked to plan things before doing them. His own mind worked that way.  
I always loved the way he played around, doing his tricks and stuff. And it was fun to see Rigsby losing his money to him. I was quite happy to never bet on something with him.  
He made me smile. Heck, it was impossible not to smile at him when he threw that boyish smile of his as he was about to make something I wouldn't approve. His eyes got shinnier everytime he plotted something to catch us all off-guard. He was like a little boy on Christmas, ready to open his gifts.  
After many times of seeing that little spark of happiness in his eyes, I realized that maybe, maybe that was why I let him get away with his schemes, even though my career was on the line, but it was worth it. Not that I would mention it to anybody though.

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_It's really good to hear your voice  
Sayin' my name it sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words it makes me weak_

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I was laying on the couch.  
We had solved another case and the team had already left, except for me and her. She was still in her office taking care of the paperwork, I could hear the shuffling of papers and her groans.  
The janitor had left the premises, so we were the only ones in the building.  
I must have dozen off because I woke up to the sound of her voice calling my name. And what a sweet voice she had.  
I was so used to the screaming and teasing tones that I didn't realize that she had this motherly tone whenever she talked softly to me. She was really something special, and a woman like her should be treasured, loved, cherished and protected by any man.  
Of course I meant me.  
I locked her gaze and noticed we were so close that I could feel her breath tickling my lips. Only a few more inches and we would be kissing.  
Not thinking, that's exactly what I did, and oh my, did it felt good to catch her off-guard and to take delight in her soft gasp, only to be held seconds later by her.  
She really was something else...  
And she was mine.


End file.
